Another day, another episode of depression

I'm finally using the blog for its actual purpose. Cool, right? Anyway, back to the topic:

Kinda sucks to be hit with depression, you know. Sure, it's not as bad as it was 3 years ago, but it still sucks. Nothing just seems fun anymore. I know I said everything will get better, but I never said the wait is gonna be easy. It also sucks that people usually shun me for being weird. Yeah, I know it's super annoying being around me, and I know everything will be my fault as long as I'm involved.

Fahmi, out.

Love(?)

My generation (and the generations after mine) have a very twisted view of love, in my honest opinion. Their view on love is that both people like each other and are in a relationship, and just dismiss it off just like that. Love, in reality, is a very, VERY, complicated thing. It just doesn't mean liking each other, it also means being there for each other, being supportive, comforting, you get the point. That is why serious relationships (you know, the ones where the people actually WORK to keep the relationship going and actually genuinely love each other) last a long time, some even end up marrying each other.

And yes, this is coming out from a guy who hasn't even gotten into a relationship, so don't take my word 100%. Go ask someone who is in a serious relationship, please.

Gettin' Real With Fahmi

It's about time we get real, here. Life will suck. Really. You will feel like shit at times and feel like you could do nothing to relieve that feeling. Especially during secondary school. However, lemme tell you this: Don't fucking worry. You should be fucking grateful you're still alive and functioning well after that. I'm not gonna use the "people have it worse than you" excuse because it's not gonna make you feel better.....but to say that your life is over? Fuck you, and fuck your mindset about life. You wanna complain that there is nothing there to do to relieve your pain, so be it. See where that lands you. God/The world has no right to provide comfort and/or fun to you. You have to go and FIND IT YOURSELF. Also, like everything else in life good or bad, the pain will soon be over. Don't end it too soon. Please.

Weird

As many of my friends (or acquaintances..... mostly acquaintances...) would tell you, I am pretty weird. Not weird in a sense that I'm not normal (though it is pretty accurate...), but in the sense that I stand out from the others..... and not in a good way. My "weirdness" got on the bad side of A LOT of people, which lead to my depression episode during Sec 2 and Sec 3. Being weird is not really a good thing, in my opinion, because of how much you stand out from others, causing many of them to actually straight-up INSULT you for not being normal. For 4 years, FOUR FUCKING YEARS, I have been trying to change my weird self into something more tolerable than normal, and honestly, I think it's for the best that I am not as weird as I used to be. Sure, I can be crazy sometimes, you will see that I will be guaranteed normal.

Fahmi, out.

Perspective

Sometimes, you gotta see the situation from a different angle or point-of-view. There are people who view the world differently from you, so you have to understand where they're coming from. To you, I may seem very weird and unfocused, but to me, I'm just being me and I have a lot to deal with in my mind. Remember, you won't be able to solve any problem just by looking. You have to see it from a different perspective.

A new education, a new start

Well, this is definitely a late post but who the hell cares? Receiving the results of my posting was like one the best days of my life. From April onwards, I will have to go to Yio Chu Kang just to get to school, because that's where Nanyang Polytechnic is XD Molecular Biotechnology's the name of the course I'm in, so I'm gonna be culturing bacteria!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Fahmi, out.

Almost 1 year

It's been almost a year since I left band. Looking back, I knew I had made the right choice joining this CCA since Sec 1. There was never a day of band practice where I regretting coming because I knew I would meet my closest friends (most of them JUNIORS) and I would make what I love: MUSIC. There were, of course, ups and downs during my journey, but in the end, Band has turned me from a super shy boy in Sec 1 to a crazy, enthusiastic and hyper musician in Sec 4.

So, I know you guys would probably not see this, but thank you, Jurong Symphonic Band, for giving me such a wonderful and badass journey :)

Fahmi, out.

Depression

Ok, I will have to post something serious every once in a while (although I am basing this on just the first two posts I've done, but whatever) so now I will talk about that one feeling that EVERY person will have at least once in their lives: Depression.

Depression is a very hard emotion to understand in the sense that it's not really an emotion (bear with me here); rather it's more like the absence of an emotion: happiness. You just have no happiness left and you just feel so empty. You feel that there is nothing left for you to fight for and no one would ever listen to you, but trust me when I say that it will get better, because it always does. Just brave through all the challenges you face because you gotta face the fact that you can't run from them forever. No one is gonna walk your journey for you. They may walk with you, but ultimately the journey is yours to take. Even if the destination is appears to be a shitty one, at least make your adventure there worth it ^_^

How do I know? Because I had it as well.

Fahmi, out.